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About Varied / Hobbyist Member Chloe RuzibayneFemale/Canada Groups :icondo-or-dice-situation: Do-Or-Dice-Situation
 
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The point of this journal is to announce that New Beginnings is officially dead.

Nothing written beyond this point will tell you anything otherwise, so if you're a casual watcher who's only here for that fanfic, save yourself the reading, un-watch me and move on with your night. 

Alright. With that in mind, let me explain this announcement. There are a lot of reasons why I decided to cancel this fanfic, and I'd like to touch on all of them briefly to show that it wasn't a thoughtless choice.

Firstly, I've never been good at commitment. I knew this when I started New Beginnings, I was in denial about it way back when I was writing Explorers of the Darkest Trails -- it's nothing new to me. In fact, I think I've known about this flaw of mine ever since I abandoned my first writing project, back when I was about ten years old. I brought up that horribly-written Notepad document on my old Acer laptop, said, "Nope!" and put it away again, forever. And I've been doing that ever since. It shouldn't come as a surprise to many people here, who've known me for more than half a year -- it's just something I do, because my interests are sporadic and can't usually be limited to one project at a time. So when something starts to grow stagnant, and I can't pick it up again, I prefer not to waste my time.

Secondly, I've realized that the sense of enjoyment that I used to glean from working on this project just isn't present anymore. At first, I was writing for myself -- the thrill of opening up that new TextEdit box, cracking the whip and knowing that I was capable of anything -- and then, after that, for the the fans -- the high of admittedly selfish human appreciation, the feedback and the critique I received on my style, and the pseudo-godly feeling one gets from knowing that their abilities can, in some small way, impact the lives and entertainment of others -- and, finally, when those needs ran their course, I ploughed on for the sake of my project partner, Lucariolus -- again, for the appreciation, and the knowledge that the project made him happy. But all of those wants and needs have faded... and, if I'm not writing for those around me, or even for myself, then why write at all?

Thirdly, I have been very busy lately, and as much as I may sound like a broken record for saying so, the deadlines simply aren't feasible anymore. "There's a lot going on in my life right now." That's something I've repeated for over two years, my excuse every time a deadline never pulled through, every time I told myself I'd "do it another night." And, in truth, I've never lied in saying that -- but I've never been willing to accept the underlying reality that there will always be something going on. Right now, it's family issues. Next, it will be school. After that, it'll be a job, graduation, moving out. I'll never be able to say that I have time for a monthly deadline, because my life in general cannot accept that addition. And I understand that now -- many, many things are more important than my hobbies, and writing is honestly very low on my priority list. I was in denial of that for a long time, struggling to fit it into my schedule, but I understand now that I can't let it come before family, friends, schoolwork, or anything else that barrels wildly in my direction screeching and trying to steal some of my dwindling eight decades of existence on this Earth. And that's not a bad thing -- it's okay for me to need to do other things. So now I have to face it and stop giving myself projects I simply can't handle.

And lastly, I've put a lot of thought recently into the structure of my fanfiction. By structure, I don't mean the plot-line -- I mean, literally, the way that I choose to construct and present my writing within the confines of that plot-line. And looking over NB, and EotDT as well, I've noticed a recurring trend; when you get right down to it, I don't write fanfiction for the sake of the borrowed franchise. By this, I mean... well, my Pokemon fanfics just aren't really about the Pokemon. I've essentially taken the franchise skeleton and made it my own -- but, in doing so, limited myself to the confines of the franchise itself. Writing fanfiction, in this sense, is essentially my way of showcasing my own, non-Pokemon characters while hiding behind the copyrighted plot-line to avoid the effort of world-building. The PMD universe came with locations. It came with rules. It came with cardboard cut-outs to which I took it upon myself to give life. But that was my only job -- to shrug on the cloak of someone else's work and go with it, giving it as little original thought as possible. Where Lucariolus actually managed to put a spin on the original world we based it all on, and kept the plot-line running smoothly and logically, I overpowered it entirely by letting self-inserts and out-of-realm species take centre stage. Where the plot of the fanfiction, what made it PMD, should have taken precedence, I instead made it all about characters and abilities that really didn't fit the setting in any truly remarkable way. Moreover, some of the concepts that my characters invoked quite literally clashed with the Pokemon world's rules -- and, in those situations, I chose to let my characters be correct, rather than the franchise. In short, I took a completely unique setting and tore it down to suit my needs, rather than adapting my cast to compliment it. 

This third point has led me to another startling revelation, one that I've been more reluctant to accept -- that, in the end, writing fanfiction just isn't for me. Now, I don't doubt that, if I created a host of OCs specifically for a Pokemon fanfic, I would be able to succeed in writing a fan-work of this kind. If I made characters in accordance with their environment, it would've probably been a lot better. But, when you get right down to it, I have no desire to -- because I don't write for the sake of the franchise. I write because I want to see my creations succeed. 

And that isn't the attitude of a successful fanfiction writer. If I wanted to be successful, I could take one of two roads from here; I could either scrap all Shathran/self-insert involvement in my fanfiction, or I could scrap all fan-material involvement in my original works. There is no true middle ground here -- at least, not with my style of writing. I let my characters drive the story, not the other way around... so the characters have to suit that story, one way or another. And with clashing concepts like the ones I've been putting together in my fan-works, they don't. Plain and simple.

So, in realizing this, I've come to terms with the fact that I won't be able to salvage this fanfic, and that, even if I could, I wouldn't want to. I've cleared everything with Lucariolus, and we left it on a happy note -- it was good while it lasted, and we both enjoyed working together. So I don't regret those ten chapters, no matter how many late nights I spent finishing them before arbitrary deadlines came up, or how many arguments they caused, or, yes, even how bad I realized my first fanfic was in comparison. I am, in the end, entirely satisfied with what I've done.

Now, this doesn't mean that I'm never writing again. I've marketed myself as a fanfiction writer for a long time, and that doesn't have to stop. But if I do begin another fanfiction of any kind, I will do so correcting my mistakes -- creating new characters, finding a way to prove my willingness to commit, and, most of all, understanding my limitations and being able to accept when it's time to move on.

I'm better for it.

So thanks for sticking through it all with me. I'm not sure what my next project will be, or whether or not it will be successful by any standard. I'm attempting original works on another account to which I will not indulge any of you of the username, but the success rate of semi-secrecy has yet to be determined. As far as this account goes, it's always been largely Pokemon-oriented, so... I don't know what I'll do with that. Maybe I'll try one-shots, or focus on my drawing skills. Maybe I'll just do whatever I want, and be more pleased by a roller-coaster of accomplishments and failures than I would be if I set myself a goal. No matter what, I'm learning, and that's enough for me.

If it's not enough for you, well... haha, sucker, that ain't my problem. Go do what makes you happy, you only get one life to do it. ;P
  • Mood: Passionate
  • Listening to: The Rendezvous, by Rob Cantor.
  • Reading: The School of Essential Ingredients.
  • Watching: My bouncy icon.
  • Playing: Eldevin.
  • Eating: A ranch chicken wrap and a Blizzard.
  • Drinking: Swamp-water soda.
Shathran Spectrum Meme! by Indigo-Serenade
Shathran Spectrum Meme!
Original meme here! <da:thumb id="276918754">  (If this link doesn't work, it's by DustBunnyThumper.)

No description needed, really. Read it and get out of here. I'm going to bed.

(And thanks to castfromgrace, redandgoldshadow, xXAshesOfBloodlustXx, rainingdove, SardonicScientists, NoeNameBrand, aboveavvarage and MaiDayStowaway for participating in what has got to be the worst group project thus far. XD)

(Noelu, I'm so sorry about your face. I'm so sorry. XD)
Loading...
Anyone know footprint runes? by Indigo-Serenade
Anyone know footprint runes?
I have no idea what's going on. I just really wanted to draw these two.

Don't ask. 

(Diggin' the bird eyepatch, man. Keep it up. XD)
Loading...
Chai Kittii Pumpkin by Indigo-Serenade
Chai Kittii Pumpkin
This is a pumpkin that I carved. It's a Darkrai named Chiihyki and a Honchkrow named Avvalie. Avvalie is asleep and adorable. Chiihyki is awake and equally adorable. They are in love, and that is the most adorable thing of all.

Also, it GLOWS. And that's AMAZING.

Take it or leave it, this thing took me like two hours with a kitchen knife and a funny scrapey thing and I will stand by it as the best pumpkin I've ever carved whether you like it or not. XD




Chiihyki is credited to... uhh... Quilaviper/666HellTaint13, and Avvalie is... errrrrrm... credit to Indigo-Serenade/aboveavvarage.

(Yeah, that's about right? XD)

(Also, sorry it's so blurry, pic was taken with a cellphone cam at night. ((Credit to 231smarty for taking the picture, too, I guess? I feel like I'm doing a shout-out here. X'D)))
Loading...

Got this from Silval58!


Here's the Randomizer:

randompokemon.com

Instructions:

Set Pokemon to: 'All Regions', 'All Types'

Set Generate to: '1'

Tag one or more friends when you're done.



1. This Pokémon is your best friend:

Golurk

OhGodwhoareyou.

2. This Pokémon is your boss that you need to impress for a promotion:

Gurdurr
I'll get those blue gems right away, sir! 

3. This Pokémon is your partner for your science project:

Castform
My weather project is IN THE BAG, YO.

4. This Pokémon is looking for every way possible to murder you:

Zapdos

"Hey. Hey kid. Come stick a fork in my outlet. Wink wink."

5. This Pokémon is your mother-in-law:

Wynaut
Why not.

6. This Pokémon is your boyfriend/girlfriend:

Kabutops
Sexay. My bedroom life needed a couple GIGANTIC GODDAMN KNIVES---

7. This Pokémon is your ex:

Regigigas
I'm sorry, Regi. You were just giving off a lot of bad signs.

8. This Pokémon stalks you every waking moment:

Psyduck
… Sexay?

9. This Pokémon likes to snuggle with you:

Teddiursa
BUT- THE STICKY PAWS- NO-

10. This Pokémon ate all your cheesecake:

Thundurus
… You can have it.

11. This Pokémon is what you felt in your bed last night:

Chingling
That horrified expression sums it up.

12. This Pokémon punched your mom:

Bagon
WOT YOU SAY YOU DID TO ME MUM 
I'LL BASH YER FOOKIN HEAD IN M8

13. This Pokémon will do anything to try and steal your shoes:

Solrock
You can't even wear shoes.

14. This Pokémon died by your own hands:

Whiscash
That bastard laughed too much anyway. And he SAT ON THE EVOLUTION STONE AND DIDN'T TELL ME ABOUT IT FOR HOW LONG???

15. This Pokémon is your loyal companion for life:

Trapinch
Ruina…? (Well, you're right about her being loyal.)

16. This Pokémon reads you bed time stories:

Turtwig
… alexpleasegetoutofmyroomomfg-

17. This Pokémon is your loving pet:

Starly
Avvalie's hung around too much. XD

18. This Pokémon is your creepy dentist:

Munna
… I needed the gas the last time I went to the dentist. This is good. XD

19. This Pokémon is what you dream about every night:

Lombre
… Mmm, dat lilypad. XD

20. This Pokémon is what you found in your basement when you moved into your new house:

Seaking
He'll be Seaking a new home soon, huh.

21. This Pokémon plays you in an alternate universe:

Magnezone
… Officer Magnezone needs to find a better hobby for his downtime than playing Skip Out On Homework. XD

22. This Pokémon is your guardian angel:

Braviary
KALHA IS TESTING ME.

23. This Pokémon wants to draw with you:

Abra
BBY COME BACK

24. This Pokémon is the first Pokémon you will encounter:

Chespin
Sorry, Fennekin lovers. It's over. XD

25. This Pokémon will take care of you when you're unable to:

Pachirisu

D'aww.

26. This Pokémon will be the cause of your death:

Houndoom

Out of nearly 700 Pokemon.
You're kidding me.
I'm so sorry.

27. This Pokémon loves to steal your hats:

Wooper
My hat has ear flaps. Good luck with that.

28. This Pokémon always borrows money from you:

Cascoon
WHAT THE HELL WOULD YOU EVEN DO WITH IT YOU CHEAP ASSHOLE

29. This Pokémon loves to play video games with you:

Crobat
Howdoyouhitthebuttons.

30. This Pokémon is in charge of tagging people:

Pignite
It's time to SMIIIITE AND PIGNIIIIIIITE!!!


I'm not tagging people. Do your thing. XD

  • Mood: Passionate
  • Playing: The Stanley Parable.

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(Icon made by Kattling! <3)

Pokemon Pokeball Sprite Divider by Sweet-Fizz

Please don't thank me for favs/watches/llamas. It's really just spam to me. But you're very welcome. Really. You are. Always and forever. And if you want to talk or anything, that's totally cool with me. ^^

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The point of this journal is to announce that New Beginnings is officially dead.

Nothing written beyond this point will tell you anything otherwise, so if you're a casual watcher who's only here for that fanfic, save yourself the reading, un-watch me and move on with your night. 

Alright. With that in mind, let me explain this announcement. There are a lot of reasons why I decided to cancel this fanfic, and I'd like to touch on all of them briefly to show that it wasn't a thoughtless choice.

Firstly, I've never been good at commitment. I knew this when I started New Beginnings, I was in denial about it way back when I was writing Explorers of the Darkest Trails -- it's nothing new to me. In fact, I think I've known about this flaw of mine ever since I abandoned my first writing project, back when I was about ten years old. I brought up that horribly-written Notepad document on my old Acer laptop, said, "Nope!" and put it away again, forever. And I've been doing that ever since. It shouldn't come as a surprise to many people here, who've known me for more than half a year -- it's just something I do, because my interests are sporadic and can't usually be limited to one project at a time. So when something starts to grow stagnant, and I can't pick it up again, I prefer not to waste my time.

Secondly, I've realized that the sense of enjoyment that I used to glean from working on this project just isn't present anymore. At first, I was writing for myself -- the thrill of opening up that new TextEdit box, cracking the whip and knowing that I was capable of anything -- and then, after that, for the the fans -- the high of admittedly selfish human appreciation, the feedback and the critique I received on my style, and the pseudo-godly feeling one gets from knowing that their abilities can, in some small way, impact the lives and entertainment of others -- and, finally, when those needs ran their course, I ploughed on for the sake of my project partner, Lucariolus -- again, for the appreciation, and the knowledge that the project made him happy. But all of those wants and needs have faded... and, if I'm not writing for those around me, or even for myself, then why write at all?

Thirdly, I have been very busy lately, and as much as I may sound like a broken record for saying so, the deadlines simply aren't feasible anymore. "There's a lot going on in my life right now." That's something I've repeated for over two years, my excuse every time a deadline never pulled through, every time I told myself I'd "do it another night." And, in truth, I've never lied in saying that -- but I've never been willing to accept the underlying reality that there will always be something going on. Right now, it's family issues. Next, it will be school. After that, it'll be a job, graduation, moving out. I'll never be able to say that I have time for a monthly deadline, because my life in general cannot accept that addition. And I understand that now -- many, many things are more important than my hobbies, and writing is honestly very low on my priority list. I was in denial of that for a long time, struggling to fit it into my schedule, but I understand now that I can't let it come before family, friends, schoolwork, or anything else that barrels wildly in my direction screeching and trying to steal some of my dwindling eight decades of existence on this Earth. And that's not a bad thing -- it's okay for me to need to do other things. So now I have to face it and stop giving myself projects I simply can't handle.

And lastly, I've put a lot of thought recently into the structure of my fanfiction. By structure, I don't mean the plot-line -- I mean, literally, the way that I choose to construct and present my writing within the confines of that plot-line. And looking over NB, and EotDT as well, I've noticed a recurring trend; when you get right down to it, I don't write fanfiction for the sake of the borrowed franchise. By this, I mean... well, my Pokemon fanfics just aren't really about the Pokemon. I've essentially taken the franchise skeleton and made it my own -- but, in doing so, limited myself to the confines of the franchise itself. Writing fanfiction, in this sense, is essentially my way of showcasing my own, non-Pokemon characters while hiding behind the copyrighted plot-line to avoid the effort of world-building. The PMD universe came with locations. It came with rules. It came with cardboard cut-outs to which I took it upon myself to give life. But that was my only job -- to shrug on the cloak of someone else's work and go with it, giving it as little original thought as possible. Where Lucariolus actually managed to put a spin on the original world we based it all on, and kept the plot-line running smoothly and logically, I overpowered it entirely by letting self-inserts and out-of-realm species take centre stage. Where the plot of the fanfiction, what made it PMD, should have taken precedence, I instead made it all about characters and abilities that really didn't fit the setting in any truly remarkable way. Moreover, some of the concepts that my characters invoked quite literally clashed with the Pokemon world's rules -- and, in those situations, I chose to let my characters be correct, rather than the franchise. In short, I took a completely unique setting and tore it down to suit my needs, rather than adapting my cast to compliment it. 

This third point has led me to another startling revelation, one that I've been more reluctant to accept -- that, in the end, writing fanfiction just isn't for me. Now, I don't doubt that, if I created a host of OCs specifically for a Pokemon fanfic, I would be able to succeed in writing a fan-work of this kind. If I made characters in accordance with their environment, it would've probably been a lot better. But, when you get right down to it, I have no desire to -- because I don't write for the sake of the franchise. I write because I want to see my creations succeed. 

And that isn't the attitude of a successful fanfiction writer. If I wanted to be successful, I could take one of two roads from here; I could either scrap all Shathran/self-insert involvement in my fanfiction, or I could scrap all fan-material involvement in my original works. There is no true middle ground here -- at least, not with my style of writing. I let my characters drive the story, not the other way around... so the characters have to suit that story, one way or another. And with clashing concepts like the ones I've been putting together in my fan-works, they don't. Plain and simple.

So, in realizing this, I've come to terms with the fact that I won't be able to salvage this fanfic, and that, even if I could, I wouldn't want to. I've cleared everything with Lucariolus, and we left it on a happy note -- it was good while it lasted, and we both enjoyed working together. So I don't regret those ten chapters, no matter how many late nights I spent finishing them before arbitrary deadlines came up, or how many arguments they caused, or, yes, even how bad I realized my first fanfic was in comparison. I am, in the end, entirely satisfied with what I've done.

Now, this doesn't mean that I'm never writing again. I've marketed myself as a fanfiction writer for a long time, and that doesn't have to stop. But if I do begin another fanfiction of any kind, I will do so correcting my mistakes -- creating new characters, finding a way to prove my willingness to commit, and, most of all, understanding my limitations and being able to accept when it's time to move on.

I'm better for it.

So thanks for sticking through it all with me. I'm not sure what my next project will be, or whether or not it will be successful by any standard. I'm attempting original works on another account to which I will not indulge any of you of the username, but the success rate of semi-secrecy has yet to be determined. As far as this account goes, it's always been largely Pokemon-oriented, so... I don't know what I'll do with that. Maybe I'll try one-shots, or focus on my drawing skills. Maybe I'll just do whatever I want, and be more pleased by a roller-coaster of accomplishments and failures than I would be if I set myself a goal. No matter what, I'm learning, and that's enough for me.

If it's not enough for you, well... haha, sucker, that ain't my problem. Go do what makes you happy, you only get one life to do it. ;P
  • Mood: Passionate
  • Listening to: The Rendezvous, by Rob Cantor.
  • Reading: The School of Essential Ingredients.
  • Watching: My bouncy icon.
  • Playing: Eldevin.
  • Eating: A ranch chicken wrap and a Blizzard.
  • Drinking: Swamp-water soda.

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Comments


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:iconquilaviper:
Quilaviper Featured By Owner 6 days ago
www.youtube.com/watch?v=0hsA_0…
Also, AMV with amazing timing! Unlike mine. XD
Reply
(1 Reply)
:iconquilaviper:
Quilaviper Featured By Owner Dec 5, 2014
Reply
(1 Reply)
:iconquilaviper:
Quilaviper Featured By Owner Edited Dec 5, 2014
www.youtube.com/watch?v=0hsA_0…
I'm sorry, but I must share the awesomeness of this AMV with you. XD
Reply
(1 Reply)
:iconever-so-excited:
ever-so-excited Featured By Owner Dec 5, 2014  Professional Digital Artist
Hello! :) I just wanted to say thank you for adding my new Watercolored Eye of Sheikah piece to your favorites. :love: I'm very glad you liked the piece and I appreciate the fav. :la: Thanks again!
Reply
:iconquilaviper:
Quilaviper Featured By Owner Nov 22, 2014
You know that Trust nuzlocke you were talking about and how I thought the character was an angel? Welp, I've seen pages of the Trust one, but was thinking of the FireRed nuzlocke by the same person, which is why I was confused. (I don't know why I felt the need to share this with you, but here you go. XD)
Reply
(1 Reply)
:iconsherlockfaust:
SherlockFaust Featured By Owner Edited Nov 19, 2014  New member
Thanks for the fav dump brah
Reply
(1 Reply)
:iconzoeyshadows:
ZoeyShadows Featured By Owner Nov 19, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Thanks for the llama!
Reply
(1 Reply)
:iconnightcool:
Nightcool Featured By Owner Nov 19, 2014  Student General Artist
You changed your icon : 0 ITS.... SO... KYUTE!
Reply
(1 Reply)
:iconquilaviper:
Quilaviper Featured By Owner Nov 18, 2014
fav.me/d77cojx
AND THIS.
HOW.
XD
Reply
(1 Reply)
:iconquilaviper:
Quilaviper Featured By Owner Nov 18, 2014
Reply
(1 Reply)
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